خلاصه کتاب عادت مربیگری (کوچینگی) اثر مایکل بونگی استانیر – قسمت سوم

کتاب عادت مربیگری

خلاصه کتاب ،ماه عسل برداشت شخصی من از نکات مهم و اساسی قابل یادگیری از مطالعه کتاب می باشد ،مطالعه این نکات برای خوانندگانی که وقت و زمان لازم جهت مطالعه کامل کتاب را ندارند از لطف خالی نیست

خلاصه کتاب عادت مربیگری (کوچینگی) اثر  مایکل بونگی استانیر – The Coaching Habit By  Michael Bungay stanier

1. پرسش شگفت انگیز ” و دیگر چه؟ “

این سوال بدون هیچ تلاشی، چیزهای زیادی را از هیچ خلق می‌کند: دانش بیشتر، دیدگاه های بیشتر، خود آگاهی بیشتر، احتمالات بیشتر و …
سه دلیل برای تاثیرگذاری زیاد این سه کلمه وجود دارد: گزینه‌های بیشتر می‌تواند به تصمیم‌های بهتر منجر شود؛ پرسیدن آن باعث می‌شود خودتان را کنترل کنید و برای خودتان زمان بخرید .

2. هیولای نصیحت را رام کنید.

اگر می خواستم همه این کتاب را در یک عبارت خلاصه کنم، آن را اینطوری می نوشتم: ” کمتر بگو و بیشتر بپرس، نصیحت تو آنقدرها هم که فکر می کنی خوب نیست. ” اما گفتن این عبارت کوتاه، خیلی آسان‌تر از عمل کردن به آن است. همه ما گرفتار این عادت بادوام هستیم که خیلی زود وارد حالت نصیحت کننده / متخصص/ پاسخ دهنده/ حل کننده می شویم. یک تمرین جذاب (و البته سخت) این است که خودتان را تماشا کنید و ببینید چقدر سریع تحریک می شوید که نصیحت کنید. خلاصه اینکه: حتی اگر واقعا ندانیم که مشکل چیست یا آن فرد در چه وضعیتی است، کاملا مطمئنیم پاسخی را که او نیاز دارد، پیدا کرده‌ایم. ” و دیگر چه؟ ” این چرخه را می شکند و وقتی پرسیدن آن تبدیل به یک عادت شود، ساده ترین راه برای این خواهد بود که تنبل و در عین حال کنجکاو بمانیم. این سوال یک ابراز خود مدیریتی است برای اینکه هیولای توصیه وجودتان را زندانی کنید. وقتی کاملا مطمئنید که از همه چیز خبر دارید و برای فهم این شرایط، تنها یکی دو ثانیه زمان دارید، پرسیدن ” و دیگر چه؟ ” زمان بیشتری را برایتان می‌خرد. اما این یک راز است. آن را به هیچ کس دیگر نگویید.

3. چهار نکته کاربردی برای پرسیدن ((و دیگر چه؟))

• کنجکاوم بمانید. واقعی بمانید. اینکه حالا یک سوال شگفت انگیز دارید، دلیل نمی‌شود که موقع پرسیدن آن بی حوصله و خسته باشید. خودتان را به پرسیدن سوال با علاقه و کنجکاوی واقعی عادت بدهید. برای اینکه به نتایج بهتری برسید، گوش دادن به جواب ها را هم تمرین کنید.

• سوالتان را یک بار دیگر بپرسید جواب می‌دهد.موفقیت را بشناسید. در مرحله‌ای از گفت و گو ممکن است یک نفر به شما بگوید: ” چیز دیگری نیست.” این واکنش را به صورت موفقیت برداشت کنید. ” چیز دیگری نیست ” جوابی است که باید به دنبالش باشید. جوابی که نشان می‌دهد به آخر این مسیر سوال و جواب رسیده‌اید. پس یک نفس عمیق بکشید، تعظیم کنید و سراغ پرسش دیگری بروید.

• در زمان مناسب، تغییر مکان بدهید.

برای جمع کردن گفت و گو، می توانید به جای ” و دیگر چه؟ ” بپرسید: ” آیا چیز دیگری هم هست ؟” . سوال ” ودیگر چه ؟ ” سریع ترین و آسان ترین روش برای کشف و خلق احتمالات جدید است. پس وقتی می پرسید: ” و دیگر چه ؟ ” هدف این نیست که بی نهایت گزینه ایجاد شود. ما فقط می خواهیم بدانیم که فرد مقابل اکنون چه ایده هایی دارد، ضمناً این سوال از اینکه فقط به نظرات خودتان وابسته باشید، جلوگیری می‌کند. اگر سه یا چهار جواب گرفته باشید، واقعا پیشرفت خوبی کرده اید.

4. من… می‌خواهم…

عادت جدیدتان را توصیف کنید. که قطعاً چیزی شبیه به این است: از آن ها خواهم پرسید ” و دیگر چه؟
“اگر میخواهید جواب های مناسب پیدا کنید، سوال های مناسب بپرسید! ونسار ردگریو “

5. توصیه کردن از طریق اضافه کردن علامت سوال را متوقف کنید. این کار به هیچ وجه پرسیدن سوال محسوب نمی شود. پرسیدن یک سوال تقلبی مثل ” تا به حال فکر کرده اید که… ” یا ” درباره… چه فکر می کنید؟ ” که همان توصیه دادن است، منتها این بار با یک علامت سوال…

6. من… می خواهم…

یکی از هفت پرسش ضروری را بپرسید و اگر خود من بخواهم ایده ای را بیان کنم، آن را به صورت یک گزینه ارائه می‌کنم و نه یک سوال.

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